I was asked today what my motivations are for now wanting to lose the weight!!
Well I have many reasons, some are personal and some are just your normal reasons, like to live longer and just to be simply healthy.
So with all my strengths I’m going to share with you why I am doing this and explain on the way how some things came to a point of no return, and how some are small things that I just brush away everyday and some that are deep scars that will stay forever or as long as I am “FAT”.
This is harder than it looks, and its not going to be an easy task to write down and share all of this with you, but I feel if I do this I will empower myself more to push along and succeed in my weight battle.
People: whether its family, friends or complete strangers most would look at me and say yep she could eat a horse!! (And it shows) But in Hines sight that isn’t true, yes I am big and yes I love my food, but it wasn’t the quantity I was consuming it was the quality, high carb foods, fatty oily foods, take away, it was all to much and the weight packed on.
So here is the start of my life just to get you in my mind.
I admit I was never a “skinny” kid, chubby from birth and pudgy as a kid and it went on, when I was 12 my Granny watched my diet very carefully and I even got down to a size 10 dress. I was rewarded with a beautiful flower dress that I loved and kept wearing until I was 14, and that’s when the weight started to pile back on, I ended up putting on 30kgs in a short time frame of 6 months, so from then until I was 19 I just kept putting it on slowly, until I feel pregnant with Rhiannon, my weight then stayed the same until I gave birth and I was actually starting to lose it, been a first time mum and all, I was running around like a mad woman, then 3 months later I find out im pregnant again this time with twins, and again the weight starting getting put back on and again didn’t stop.
So here I am today fed up with all the yoyo diets and crap that hasn’t worked, I now start lite n easy.
Now that I have basically placed your mind in a moment of my life you may now understand my next battle of explaining my motives to lose the “FAT”…….
Motivation one: the big one
(This is what pushed me to the point of doing this, mind you for the past year I have dealt with this by eating, yes I know it sounds stupid but I felt like the problem would go away if I ate, obviously it didn’t!!)
So back to my motivations: Children telling my girls that their mummy is fat!!! It may sound like something I should have brushed off but it got to me that bad that I stopped going to the school and even now if something needs to be done at school Bradly goes up for me.
Now these are just going to be random as I think of them… Been able to put socks on with out asking Brad or one of the girls to do it for me, I noticed the other day that I have no full body shots of myself, all photos are chest up shots, so that was another motivation, wanting to play sports with my girls, (under 18’s close your eyes) a better sex life in the bedroom, going to the movies and been able to sit comfortably in a seat, not having to step sideways into a shower or a door way, to walk into a shop and not having to go straight to the + sizes, people not yelling out oh look at the elephant, a certain person asking if my clothes came from tent city!!!!!! To see my feet lol, and to have a waist so I know where my boobs and stomach are!!.
Well you have just read what I am afraid to say out loud.♥♥♥